Tom Hodgkinson has found that Idle parenting means happy children
To the busy modern parent, this idea seems counter-intuitive. Aren't we always told to do more, not less? All parents have a nagging sense that somehow we are doing it all wrong and that more work needs to be done. But the problem is that we put too much work into parenting, not too little. By interfering a lot, we are not letting children grow up and learn themselves. The child who has been overprotected will not know how to look after himself. We are too much in children's faces. We need to retreat. Let them live.
Welcome to the school of inactive parenting. It's a win-win situation: less work for you and better for the child, both in terms of enjoying everyday life and also for self-reliance and independence.
The Manifesto of the idle parent
We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
That should mean that they leave us alone, too
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We fill the house with music and laughter
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment
Okay I was a mostly idle parent. I did some "putting the kids into activities". I refused to mediate fights unless they got too physical. If major complaining occurred - everyone was in trouble... I don't care who started it, you want me to fix it, I fix everyone.
OTOH, this little bit: "Time is more important than money"
Thus speaks a person who always made enough money to put food on the table, clothe everyone, and have a pretty decent safe place to live without a problem. It's very easy to disdain money when you have enough to keep going (and I'm not talking about having lots of luxuries). Whenever someone makes that kind of stupid statement I get very annoyed. They have obviously never ever had real money issues.
Posted by: Teresa at February 17, 2008 4:01 PM