February 1, 2011

Marriage remains the key to a better life for all concerned

Marriage, the key to a better life.

Marriage cheers you up, improves your diet and helps you live longer, researchers say.

It brings better mental and physical health, reducing the chance of premature death by 15 per cent, according to major studies in seven European countries.

And the longer a marriage lasts the more the rewards accumulate – the only catch being that the relationship has to be loving and supportive.

And what's the One Simple Secret to a Good Marriage?

“It’s simple, but it’s not easy… “It’s what’s in your heart. You’ve got to LOVE each other. We’re happy because I do things for him and he does things for me. That’s what love means… I do things for him and he does things for me.”

---As she talked, it became clear that the “things” they’ve done for one another were way beyond the “pick-up-his-socks” and “surprise-her-by doing-the dishes” things suggested in typical marriage columns. Their mutual “doing” carried them across parched deserts and through tumultuous rapids—past the dangerous places where marriages die. It was no easy feat.

But as Gerry Garibaldi, a teacher at an inner-city school in Connecticut, writes, "Nobody Gets Married Any More, Mister"

Thanks to the feds, urban schools like mine—already entitled to substantial federal largesse under Title I, which provides funds to public schools with large low-income populations—are swimming in money.

----Within my lifetime, single parenthood has been transformed from shame to saintliness. In our society, perversely, we celebrate the unwed mother as a heroic figure, like a fireman or a police officer. During the last presidential election, much was made of Obama’s mother, who was a single parent. Movie stars and pop singers flaunt their daddy-less babies like fishing trophies.

None of this is lost on my students. In today’s urban high school, there is no shame or social ostracism when girls become pregnant. . . .

Connecticut is among the most generous of the states to out-of-wedlock mothers. Teenage girls like Nicole qualify for a vast array of welfare benefits from the state and federal governments: medical coverage when they become pregnant (called “Healthy Start”); later, medical insurance for the family (“Husky”); child care (“Care 4 Kids”); Section 8 housing subsidies; the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program; cash assistance. If you need to get to an appointment, state-sponsored dial-a-ride is available. . . .

In theory, this provision of services is humane and defensible, an essential safety net for the most vulnerable—children who have children. What it amounts to in practice is a monolithic public endorsement of single motherhood—one that has turned our urban high schools into puppy mills. The safety net has become a hammock.

There is no doubt that intact families are far better for society as a whole and for the people involved, especially the children.   
With the best of intentions, we are creating a dismal future of poor, fatherless families and rootless, purposeless men.
What has happened to marriage? Why don't you guys study like the kids from Africa? Adults' Rights to Children vs Children's Needs.

"You would not be able to print enough money in a thousand years to pay for the government you would need if the traditional family continues to collapse," Representative Michael Pence.
Posted by Jill Fallon at February 1, 2011 11:24 PM | Permalink