December 13, 2013

Chivalry and Husbands

Is Chivalry Dead?

Not to be excessively glib, but codes of behavior are one of the better ways to show respect. Obviously, chivalric codes involve gender identity: they are a way for men to show respect for women, but also to show that they want to protect and provide for women.

 Modern Chivalry

In many cases today’s independent woman finds this notion repugnant. But, what is the alternative? In the absence of a code of gentlemanly behavior men have learned how to disrespect women. No longer wanting to be gentlemen, they become scoundrels.

Perhaps that is not the message that feminists wanted to convey, but that is the message that has been received.

Why women still need husbands

According to Pew Research, “Dads are much more likely than moms to say they want to work full time. And when it comes to what they value most in a job, working fathers place more importance on having a high-paying job, while working mothers are more concerned with having a flexible schedule.”

That women prefer part-time work is simply irrefutable. It was true back in 2007, and it’s even true among Ivy League graduates! Study after study, both here and abroad (the majority of women in the UK, Spain and other countries seek some combination of paid work and family work) shows women as a whole (the Sheryl Sandbergs notwithstanding) want multifaceted lives. They want balance.

And there’s only one way to get it: rely on a man’s more linear career goals. Unlike women, a man’s identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. That’s how most men feel a sense of purpose. Indeed, research shows men see it as their duty to support their families even when their wives make as much money (or more) as they do!

Perhaps that’s because men can’t produce life the way women can—let’s face it: those are some serious shoes to fill—but they can produce the means to make a child’s life secure. As a nation, we dismiss this integral part of masculinity. But that doesn’t make it any less true.
Posted by Jill Fallon at December 13, 2013 12:02 PM | Permalink