April 8, 2017

Love and Marriage - Advice from the 19th century

Anna Mussman gives us  20 Things Nineteenth-Century Advice Gurus Knew About Love That We’ve Forgotten

1. Romance Is About Finding Someone to Love for Life
2. Loving Feelings are Not Enough
3. Communicate Your Interest, But Don’t Be Creepy
4. Sit Up Straight
5. Bring Flowers
6. A Word on Getting Engaged
7. Skip the Triumphal Chains
8. Watch Out for Too Much Control
9. Build a Happy Marriage
10. Wives, No ‘My Way or the Highway’
11. Husbands, Listen to Your Wives
12. Wives, Don’t Whine About Your Husbands to Others
13. Husband, Don’t Come Home Grumpy
14. Wives, Put on Some Makeup for Him
15. Husbands, Buy Flowers (or Dark Chocolate)
16. Pay Off Your Credit Cards Every Month
17. Learn How to Manage a House
18. Go to Church Together
19. Learn Things Together
20. Make Love..

Phrases like “mutual good will and forebearance” tend not to be part of our modern lexicon when we talk about romantic love. Rather than forebear, at least extensively, we tend to leave. This makes it hard for true love to grow. Love is not primarily a feeling. It is a commitment. It is action. It is forgiving and sacrificing. If we hope to experience the tremendous joy of true love in our own lives, we ought to pay attention to our forbearers. They definitely knew something that our popular culture has forgotten.
Posted by Jill Fallon at 11:14 AM | Permalink