Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey wants to outlaw out-of-season vegetables
making out-of-season produce illegal would raise "levels of inspiration".
"There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only," he said.
Man spends 18 hours in police cell and has his DNA taken for 'dropping an apple core', a charge he denies.
From Grandma's House
Listen up brothers and sisters, come here my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression, served on out tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, i say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream
I've heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening.. let's call a spade a spade.
I meant to post this last week, so you may have already see it. From Good Eats
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
My favorite self-portrait from the Top 10 Self-Portraits of Wired readers.
See them all starting here.
Astonishingly, a fight breaks out behind a television reader at the BBC. You have to watch this one.
Synesthesia, is a most interesting neurological condition that "mixes up the senses". People with synesthesia can have strong color sensations with certain words, associate numbers with sounds or music with colors. James Wannerton has an unusual form of the unusual condition, he tastes words.
Whenever I see a picture of Tony Blair I instantly get the taste of desiccated coconut.
Gordon Brown leaves me with a very strong taste of dirt and Marmite, so he shouldn't count on getting my vote.
George Bush gives me a taste similar to the crusty potato bit on top of a cottage pie.
As I read the New York Times, monosodium glutamate or MSG gives us the taste, umami, that "elusive fifth taste" that rounds out the flavor of everything.
Yes, MSG, the Secret Behind the Savor
But you don't have to search out Japanese seaweed because MSG is a shortcut to that rounder flavor. You won't necessarily under that name on the label, so look for hydrolyzed soy protein or autolyzed yeast, because it's all glutamate and perfectly safe to eat for the vast majority of people.
You can find glutamate in Accent, canned chicken broth, hoisin, soy and fish sauces, Maggi, onion soup, Goldfish crackers, canned tuna with vegetable broth, canned soup, low-fat yoghurts and ice creams, virtually everything ranch-flavored or cheese-flavored, Pringles and bologna among others.
Nacho-cheese-flavor Doritos, which contain five separate forms of glutamate, may be even richer in umami than the finest kombu dashi (kelp stock) in Japan.
This is so fresh and witty a piece of performance art, you must see it if you haven't already. A grand illusion at Grand Central with 207 adults at frozen play.
And you thought lawyers could never get down and funky. Check out Bob Noone and the Well-Hung Jury singing My Will
via Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof
Postcards home from Roman soldiers in Britain,
They came, they saw...and they asked for new underpants
Now known as the Vindolanda Tablets - after the fort where they were found - the more than 1,000 pieces of birch, alder and oak give an unparalleled, moving and often very funny insight into the life of the Roman soldier stuck miles from home at the end of the first century AD.
--
The letters reveal how the soldiers miss their family and friends back in Gaul - that's where most of them came from...But most of all, how cold they are in the frozen north,
--
The funniest letter is a simple list of the clothes sent from the warm south to a poor frozen Roman: "Paria udonum ab Sattua solearum duo et subligariorum duo." Or - socks, two pairs of sandals and two pairs of underpants.
--
Solemnis, in another letter, wrote to his brother Paris: "Hello there. Hope all's well. I'm in top form - and I hope you are, even though you've been so bloody lazy and haven't sent me a single letter.
Human nature and human needs haven't changed at all.
Responding to AP's selection of him as Celebrity of the Year, Steven Colbert sent this email.
"In receiving this award, I am pleased that I was chosen over two great spinners of fantasy — J.K. Rowling and Al Gore. It is truly an honor to be named the Associated Press' Celebrity of the Year. Best of all, this makes me the official front-runner for next year's Drug-Fueled Downward Spiral of the year. P.S. Look for my baby bump this spring!"
Jet from Supermassive Black Hole Seen Blasting Neighboring Galaxy.
You can't see the massive black hole of course, only the blue jet emanating from it.
Black holes ... set loose tremendous bursts of energy as matter swirls around the disk of material that circles the black hole but does not make it in.
That energy, often in the form of highly charged gamma rays and X-rays, shoots out in powerful jets that can be millions of light-years long and 1,000 light-years wide.
Scientists are just beginning to understand these jets, which not only transform matter in their path but also help produce "stellar nurseries," where new stars are formed.
What seems violent may be a form of galactic conception.
You know the Christmas song, "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
“Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,
Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song, high above the tree
With a voice as big as the sea.”
What you don't know is that the song was written during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 by Noel Regney as he walked down the streets of New York City where despair hung thick in the air when he came upon two babies in strollers looking at each other and smiling.
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukkah" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukkah!" or (to the atheists), "Look out for the wall!"
- Dave Barry
It's necessary to suffer to be beautiful.
Now a man lives to tell what women already know. It's laugh-out-loud funny.
Christopher Hitchens On the Limits of Self-Improvement that involve wraps, Brazilian waxes and veneers.
Part One
The best beer in the world is brewed by Trappist monks in Westvleteren, Belgium. Despite the phenomenal demand for the "holy grail of beers", the monks are resisting pressure to increase production.
"It would interfere with our job of being a monk. We sell beer to live, and not vice versa."
Trappist Command: Thou Shalt Not Buy Too Much of Our Beer. (Wall St Journal subscribers only at least until Murdoch takes over)
From Astronomy Picture of the Day
It all started with beer.
Chocolate that is.
Chocolate began as a status beer
THE chocolate enjoyed around the world today had its origins at least 3100 years ago in Central America not as the sweet treat people now crave but as a celebratory beer-like beverage and status symbol,
Anonymous said, "History flows forward in rivers of beer."
I know I posted about this before years ago, but a friend just sent it to me again. I think I laughed just as much. It's impossible not to.
It's the best Rube Goldberg contraption I've ever seen.
I wish I could embed it but I can't so click on the link.
Good things come to those who wait.
Especially if they love their Guinness.
via Scribal Terror
Annie Liebowitz was commissioned to create new images for the Disney company's Year of a Million Dreams promotion.
Here is Rachel Weisz as Snow White.
Scarlett Johanssen as Cinderella
Julie Andrews as a fairy godmother
See them all in their full glory at the Disney gallery
Iain Gray delivers some delicious snark to Rachel Weisz's comment, "I think you always want to be Snow White."
Really? What, having one’s mother die in childbirth, being despised by your new stepmother to the point where she repeatedly tries to brutally murder you and then spending your days with a bunch of emotionally-stunted gold-diggers who immediately put you to work cleaning and cooking before insisting that you share their beds with them?
It truly is every little girl’s dream…
Shamelessly stolen from Scribal Terror
Although he tried awfully hard, Norman Mailer never succeeded at levitating the Pentagon back in 1968.
Yet, this Dutchman succeed at levitating himself before the White House with ease. How does he do it?
I can't embed so to see Woulter Bijdendijik, the Dutch magician click here.
Kurt Wenner, a former illustrator for NASA, is wowing them in London with his pavement art.
He translated the anamorphism - the technique used by classical artists to create the illusion of height - into a new way of painting to give depth to the street surface.
An amazing story, Aicuna is Not an Albino Town
It is the same message that she had made us read—the one by Carlo Brero, a nearly eighty-year-old Italian who, on September 28, 2006, bade his farewell to La Casa with these words, in Spanish: “I came to this town to find albino genes and I found the happiness of my youth.” Mr. Brero’s farewell letter, written in a trembling hand but with unwavering care, takes up the entire page. Before signing it, he added: “I feel personally content and I think that it’s because of the way of life here: happy children, simple, tranquil, and affable people. Love is found here amid an everyday landscape.”
--
It’s like something out of García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude. Once upon a time in northeastern Argentina there was a village of grape and almond farmers and goat breeders. This place, called Aicuña, also known as “the town of the Ormeños,” or later “the mysterious albino town,” remained isolated for more than three centuries, two hundred and fifty years longer than García Márquez’s Macondo. Inbreeding was punished in Macondo by the birth of a boy with a pig’s tail. In Aicuña, say some vicious people in neighboring villages, the punishment is colorless children. Forty-six of them, to be precise, in little more than a century.
--
It’s like something out of García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude. Once upon a time in northeastern Argentina there was a village of grape and almond farmers and goat breeders. This place, called Aicuña, also known as “the town of the Ormeños,” or later “the mysterious albino town,” remained isolated for more than three centuries, two hundred and fifty years longer than García Márquez’s Macondo. Inbreeding was punished in Macondo by the birth of a boy with a pig’s tail. In Aicuña, say some vicious people in neighboring villages, the punishment is colorless children. Forty-six of them, to be precise, in little more than a century.
Some Preschoolers' thoughts on aging.
"First they start smooth and when they are going to die, they get pruney"
First they grow up as a young kid...they eat healthy and they get taller. And soon they get much taller and they go to heaven. If they can't walk, they get a wheelchair."
What's with the "scribble scrabble"? Two of the preschoolers call wrinkles scribble scrabble which I kinda like actually.
"They have scrabble scrabble just on her face. And she's got shiny teeth."
Dr. Helen quotes Mary Fensolt saying, The fear of public speaking or performing is more than anything a fear of being eaten."
Building on the theories of sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson, Fensholt argues that historically, being intently scrutinized and singled out was a prelude to being eaten by a predator, so human ancestors evolved a strong fear response against setting themselves apart from the protection of the group.
Catching up on all sorts of stuff over the weekend, I realized I haven't done my "To Do Before You Die List" even though I've already crossed some things off like water rafting through the Grand Canyon and scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef.
Ten Things to Do Before You Finish This Article.
I've got lots to add. What about you?
Why are yawns so contagious?
I used to tell my sister that it was a battle for oxygen. When one person yawns, they suck up so much oxygen in the air that the other person is forced to yawn just to stay alive.
Nonsense, but fun. Now scientists are now doing the research, and the first results are in.
What triggers the phenomenon appears to be the capacity for empathy.
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates speaks about the most embarrassing moment of his career.
But I think the most embarrassing moment during my career was when Nixon visited Italy and he met with the Pope, and Melvin Laird was along as Secretary of Defense. Kissinger and Nixon decided that Laird shouldn’t be invited to the meeting with the Pope, as sort of the Minister of War.
And so, Nixon was in the next morning having his private audience with the Pope, and the rest of us were waiting outside. And who should come striding down the hall smoking an enormous cigar but Laird. He had clearly found out about the meeting, probably through good military intelligence. [Laughter]
And Kissinger was kind of beside himself, but he finally said “Well, Mel, at least extinguish the cigar.” So Laird stubbed out his cigar and put it in his pocket.
The American party a few minutes later went in to their general meeting with the pope. Pope was seated at a little table in front, Americans in two rows of high-backed chairs. Back row, Kissinger on the end; Laird next to him. A couple of minutes into the Pope’s remarks, Kissinger heard this little patting sound, and he looked over, and there was a wisp of smoke coming out of Laird’s pocket. [Laughter] The Secretary of State thought nothing of it. A couple of other minutes went by and the secretary heard this patting sound, slapping going on, and he looked over and smoke was billowing out of Laird’s pocket. The Secretary of Defense was on fire. [Laughter]
The American party heard this slapping, and thought they were being queued to applaud. And so they did. [Laughter]
And Henry later told us, “God only knows what his Holiness thought, seeing the American secretary of defense immolating himself, and the entire American party applauding the fact.” [Laughter, Applause
via The Belmont Club
"Beer is the basis of modern static civilization. Because before beer was discovered, people used to wander around and follow goats from place to place. And then they realized that this grain [barley] could be grown and sprouted and made into a bread and crumbled and converted into a liquid which gave a nice, warm, cozy feeling. So gone were the days that they followed goats around. They stayed put while the grain grew and while the beer was brewed. And they made villages out of their tents. And those villages became towns, and those towns became cities. And so here we are in New York, thanks to beer.
--
He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven.
Charlie Bamforth is the Anheuser-Busch Endowed Professor of Brewing Science at the University of California, Davis.
From Ale's Well with the World, Scientific American.
Here it Goes Again was the top winner in the first annual YouTube Video Awards. You can see the winners and the runners-up.
Most creative Here It Goes Again - 14 million viewers which is not even close to the all time winner for most times viewed- some 45 million of them -Evolution of Dance.
I loved the enchanting Little Girl Giant at Hootsbuddy's Place and soon clicked to read more about The Saga of the Giants. 3 Quarks Daily tells the story beautifully.
16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn
3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
via Kottke
Along with this spectacular photo of Victoria Falls, comes some marvelous writing by Michael Joseph Gross in Chasing the Ultimate Waterfall
Later I realized this was the reassurance of a waterfall. Here, our everyday elixir, the substance of which we are literally made, seems to be shattered, and immediately, perpetually, restores itself.
All the glory and excitement of this place, and of any waterfall, has just one natural purpose: it's the river's way of getting back to normal. A waterfall occurs at the rift between a stream's force and its path. It is simultaneously a mistake and a correction, existing in order to erase itself.
Blackfive has a patent-pending on the Irish palm pilot shown above.
It's worth pointing out that are two patron saints of Ireland, St Patrick and St. Brigid and the latter particularly loved beer which is featured prominently in some of the miracles attributed to her.
Her generosity in adult life was legendary: It was recorded that if she gave a drink of water to a thirsty stranger, the liquid turned into milk; when she sent a barrel of beer to one Christian community, it proved to satisfy 17 more. Many of the stories about her relate to the multiplication of food, including one that she changed her bath-water into beer to satisfy the thirst of an unexpected clergyman.
St. Brigid's prayer begins
I'd like to give a lake of beer to God.
I'd love the Heavenly
Host to be tippling there
For all eternity.
and ends
I'd sit with the men, the women of God
There by the lake of beer
We'd be drinking good health forever
And every drop would be a prayer.
Who else but an Irish saint imagines God as forever drinking beer, a beatific vision unique to the Irish?
Go here to hear Noirin Ni Riann recite the prayer in her wonderful Irish voice.
And finally, an Irish joke from To the Point.
An Irishman was walking along a beach in County Cork one day and noticed an encrusted bottle washed up on the sand. Wondering what might be inside he broke it off at the neck and out popped an Irish Genie.
"Oh, me man, I hah been in tha bottle for a hundred years, and you be settin' me free!" he exclaimed. "For that, I'll be givin' you two wishes!"
"Two wishes? Anything I want?" the man asked incredulously.
"Anythin' - just name it," the genie replied.
"Well, what I'll be wantin'," said the man, "is a glass of good Irish ale - but a very special glass, so that no matter how much I drink it will always be full of good Irish ale."
Poof! There it was in his hand. The Irishman drank and drank and drank, and twenty minutes later, he hadn't made a dent. The glass was still overflowing with wonderful Irish ale.
But by now the genie was getting impatient.
"Listen me man" he announced. "I'm grateful for you settin' me free, but I was in that bottle for a long time and I've things to do. So you'll be makin' your second wish now."
The Irishman thought for a moment, looked at the glass in his hand, and declared, "You know, I think I'll have another one of these!"
So drink and pray beer for St. Patrick and St. Brigid, but never green beer, an abomination.
There's a party over at Guinness. You have to register, but then you can download some Irish music by Quagmire
Speaking of procrastination, I had a grand time applying NCAA Tournament style brackets to bring the Final Four of Everything to where were you when moments, film deaths, ad slogans and marital arguments thanks to Slate's Enlightened Bracketologist.
You've probably heard somewhere from someone that there are more people alive today than have ever lived on earth before and assumed it was true.
The U.N. says we number 6.5 billion alive today.
Well Scientific American reports that 106 billion people have walked the earth before us.
The dead far outnumber the living.
Come Friday afternoon, it's time to start winding down.
So scoot on over to Billy Collins action poetry. The animations are wonderful.
Thanks to Patti who wrote I have died and gone to heaven.
I love what these eight-year-olds have to say about grandparents via Jim Selman at Serene Ambition where he ponders getting older
serenely.
• Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.
• A grandfather is a man grandmother.
• Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.
• When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
• They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on cracks.
• They don't say, "Hurry up!"
• Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.
• They wear glasses and funny underwear.
• They can take their teeth and gums out.
• Grandparents don't have to be smart.
• They have to answer questions like, "Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?"
• When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again .
• Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.
• They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
So I've been memed by Theresa at Technicalities.
1. My: What would I give my right arm for? If we're talking literally here, I'd give my right arm to save my life or someone else's if I'm feeling good. Otherwise, I'd give my right arm for someone to show me how to use Garage Band to edit audio tracks and how to record audio on my computer because I want to start podcasting because the BOOK is almost DONE and so is the SOFTWARE.
2. Me. What's one word that describes how you want people to see you?
Trusted.
3. Meme: If you could be any blogger, which blogger would you be and why?
Well, since Theresa has already picked Lileks, who I's sure is at the top of many lists, I'm going to go for The Anchoress. I just love how her religion informs her heart in her essays.
Three people who now can struggle with this meme. Ronni Miss Kelly, and Tish.
I can't believe how much time I spent today watching and reading all about Steve Job's presentation of the gorgeous iPhone with all its promise of beauty and elegance, power and magic.
Jobs got a standing ovation. iPhone drool shorted keyboards across the country.
I want one. Who doesn't?
Your very own eccentric British aristocratic title from Lady Fortune the Absurd of Greater Internetshire.
I had great fun, trying on different titles. My favorites are in red. Even more fun will be the first time I fill out an application using one of them.
Very Lady Jill the Larger of Goosnargh Leering
Honourable Lady Jill the Cosmopolitan of Pease Pottage
Her Royal Highness Jill the Erudite of Puddleston St Droop
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Jill the Pusillanimous of Lardle Midhoop
Her Noble Excellency Jill the Implacable of Nether Wombleshire
Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Jill the Excited of New Scagglethorpe
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Jill the Glutinous: of Kirkby Overblow
Her Eminence the Very Viscountess Jill the Purple of New Invention
Her Royal Highness Jill the Fortunate of Melbury Bubblewick
Venerable Lady Jill the Mad of Lower Slaughter
Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Jill the Confused of Featherstonehaugh St Fanshaw
Marchioness Jill the Assiduous of Giggleswick on the Naze
Her Most Noble Lady Jill the Incomplete of Porton Down
I am told that the motto on the shield "Fallentis semita vitae" comes from Horace and means the untrodden paths of life.