Legacy Matters

Remembering Good Fathers

Long a Jewish custom, ethical wills can be traced back to Jacob, Moses and Solomon.  In 1950 and 1951 Samuel Lipsitz wrote to his family one day on sheets of business paper, little knowing how treasured it would become by my friends Betty and Ernie Singer.    Every Father's day becomes an occasion to reread the letter and reflect on the memory of a good father who didn't depend on the wind, but wrote down what was important for his children to remember.

Dear children,

Somewhere among these papers is a will made out by a lawyer.  Its purpose is to dispose of any material things which I may possess at the time of my departure from this world to the unknown adventure beyond.

I hope its terms will cause no ill will among you.  It seemed sensible when I made it.  After all, it refers only to material things which we enjoy only temporarily.

I am more concerned with having you inherit something that is vastly more important.

There must be a purpose in the creation of man.  Because I believe that (as I hope you will some day, for without it life becomes meaningless), I hope you live right.

Live together in harmony!  Carry no ill will toward each other.  Bethink of the family.  Help each other in case of need.  Honor and care for your mother.  Make her old age happy, as far as in your power.  She deserves these things from you.  It was your mother, who always reproached me that I was not concerned enough about my children.  She always insisted that we give them more.  She would never visit a grandchild without a gift.  I often felt she was too devoted a mother.  Prove she was wise by being worthy of her devotion.

Carry your Jewish heritage with dignity.  Though you may discard trivial ritual things, never discard your basic Jewish faith.  You can not live out your years happily without it......

A woman once said to me, "Why should I write anything down.  I  tell my children that I love them when I'm alive".

I'm glad if her children grow up secure in her love even after she's gone, but they will be incomparably poorer than the Singers because their mother didn't take the time to think deeply about what she believed was important and to write down what she wanted them to remember.