Legacy Matters

Funeral Road Rage

The respect we all pay to funeral processions of cars seems to be dying, the Boston Globe reported Sunday in No Last Respects.

''The disrespect that the drivers pay to the funeral procession is unbelievable," said Alfred DeVito, a 37-year industry veteran and owner of DeVito's Funeral Homes in Arlington and Watertown. ''It's funeral road rage. People yell, scream, they get out of their cars. I've had people try to run me over.

''In the olden days, you'd see a funeral procession and people would stop and bless themselves," he said. ''Now everyone's in a rush; they're so caught up in their own lives."

Funeral processions date to pagan times, when relatives and friends of the deceased sang and danced in celebration of the departed person's life, said Bob Boetticher, president of the National Museum of Funeral History in Houston. Funeral directors say the ritual is continued for one simple reason: It gets a large group of people to the same place at the same time.

Funeral directors say they've noticed the change in road etiquette over the past decade. Citing instances of onlookers yelling, honking their horns, or making obscene gestures, funeral directors point to a general erosion in civility. But they also cite more benign factors, including clogged roads, the spread of daytime running lights on vehicles that make funeral processions less conspicuous, hectic schedules, and preoccupied drivers fiddling with the gadgets in their cars.
----
While processions usually travel no faster than 20 miles per hour to keep the cars together, most people don't realize even a large procession of 40 cars only takes a few minutes to roll by, said Tyler Douglas, co-owner of Douglas & Johnson Funeral Home in Salem, N.H.

''Maybe five minutes at the most. But, everybody gets impatient," said Douglas. ''You just have to be very careful driving because people are not as courteous as they used to be."

Interrupting or disturbing a funeral procession is illegal and punishable by up to a $50 fine and one month in jail under state law.
---
Many times I don't believe people are deliberate. Lots of times they are surprised when they cut into a funeral because they didn't expect it," said Abdallah, funeral director at Charles F. Dewhirst Funeral Homes in Methuen, Lawrence, and Andover. ''I think there are always a few bad apples, but most people are kind. At least, that's what I believe, anyway."

if you see a hearse, stop and wait for the cars behind it to pass.  Usually, they will have their headlights on and they may have small flags.

It doesn't take long and you can use that time to relax, take a few deep breaths, and perhaps, think about how short life is.  Surely we all could use a few minutes to reflect on the important things we are not doing that we promised ourselves we would. 

A funeral procession is a modern day momento mori - something to remind us that death is an inevitable part of life and something we should be prepared for at all times.  Momento mori - "Remember thy death."