Legacy MattersA high school dropout at 15, "Monroe Singer's "New Year Greetings to My Family" has graced the Reston home of Sally Singer Horwatt for years.... To his second daughter, 4-year-old Sally, Singer wrote: "Happiness should come easy for you because you give so much joy to all of us. My wish for you in this New Year is my wish for all your life -- Happiness, Health and a gracious spirit that you may continue to give to all those around you the joy you have given to me."
"Monroe Singer's "New Year Greetings to My Family" has graced the Reston home of Sally Singer Horwatt for years. A scant eight paragraphs, it was written in the chill of a 1945 Chicago winter as war ravaged the world. To his second daughter, 4-year-old Sally, Singer wrote: "Happiness should come easy for you because you give so much joy to all of us. My wish for you in this New Year is my wish for all your life -- Happiness, Health and a gracious spirit that you may continue to give to all those around you the joy you have given to me."
Horwatt's father, a high school dropout at 15, was a salesman who died in 1966 at the age of 64. Today, she treasures what he wrote to his wife and three children more than anything else he left behind because "it's contact with my father, with his humanity. It expresses his values."
What Horwatt, 63, has always called "Dad's letter" is an example of what is now commonly called an ethical will, a document that bequeaths to loved ones a spiritual, rather than material, legacy. What Horwatt, 63, has always called "Dad's letter" is an example of what is now commonly called an ethical will, a document that bequeaths to loved ones a spiritual, rather than material, legacy.
Increasingly popular in recent years, ethical wills usually describe the moral or religious values people have strived to live by, the important life lessons they have learned and the kind of life they wish for their children. These wills also can include stories about events and people that shaped the author's life, as well as regrets and acts for which the writer seeks forgiveness.
Ethical wills carry no legal status. Their value is more in the wisdom they pass to the living. And for their authors, they are a tangible way of being remembered.
"It's really an attempt to share and to some extent shape what your legacy will be by putting on paper or into words . . . how you see yourself . . . functioning in the world and what you hold dear and why you hold it dear," said the Rev. Robert Washington, chaplain at Montgomery Hospice in Rockville.
Writing an ethical will is not just for the dying. Many people see the act of writing one as one for their own benefit first, their kids second. "It's an exercise in looking at your life, what your priorities are, what's important to you." said Stephen Berry, a customer service manager. Another said his ethical will is a couple of pages long that gets updated as his life changes and as his kids change.
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