March 18, 2014

"Don't try to take more than your share"

A Washington Post story about Dave Barry's book tour made this oblique reference to his funeral plans  (mimes, snipers, no camels) to which reader George replied:

Here is a wrinkle that I’ve been toying with.  Beside the sign-in register (why do we have this custom?), my urn will be tastefully displayed, with a small mound of my ashes in a dish.  Beside the dish will be a small spoon and a supply of small (about 1 inch square) zip-lock baggies and sign saying, “You say that George will always be in your heart – well here’s your chance to have him in your purse or wallet, too.”

And Dave Barry remarked "Don't try to take more than your share."

A few readers had some ideas, none of which I recommend, but all of which are funny.

Our ol bud Charley passed, and as he was a serious hippie Dead fan, he owned forty some hawaiian shirts, so for his service, [some kind gals washed them] they were on racks in the rear, and folks were invited to pick one out and wear it home in his memory.
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I told my wife she could just pitch my ashes but she asked me what I would do with hers. I said I would find a tall, shiny urn with a fancy top and put it on the mantel. Then I could tell people, "That's my trophy wife."
Posted by Jill Fallon at March 18, 2014 1:01 PM | Permalink