July 10, 2014

Funny epitaphs

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.

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In a London , England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,
who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Posted by Jill Fallon at July 10, 2014 12:15 PM | Permalink